Signs of an Unhappy Marriage and How MFT Can Help

Many people idealize marriage as a source of companionship, emotional safety, and shared growth. However, not all marriages work that way in reality. Many couples eventually discover that beneath the surface of daily routines and outward appearances, serious relational issues are tearing and fraying their connection. However, these unhappy marriage signs are often avoided or overlooked.

Many people see identifying the signs of an unhealthy or “toxic” marriage as some sort of defeat. In practice, it often is the first step toward seeking positive change. While many challenges can be addressed within the relationship itself, the training and perspective offered by someone who has earned a Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) degree can help couples rebuild trust and move toward a more stable future.

Before understanding how MFT can help a marriage, it’s essential to recognize the most common signs of an unhappy marriage and how they can impact a relationship.

Common Signs of an Unhappy Marriage Signs

Marital distress often begins subtly, then begins to escalate as the months and years of a marriage accumulate. People should not confuse this distress with the normal ups and downs of any relationship, especially one as close as a marriage. Rather, distress involves persistent issues that can lead to one or both partners feeling fundamentally dissatisfied. It often leads to conflicts that increase in frequency and remain unresolved.

Here are some of the most identified red flags:

Poor or shutting down communication. Conversations become stilted, superficial, or avoided altogether. Attempts to resolve differences get met with defensiveness or withdrawal.

Stonewalling and silent treatment. One partner emotionally withdraws during a disagreement, refuses to respond, or stops all engagement.

Frequent and escalating arguments. Even minor disagreements can spiral into major fights as the same issues are rehashed without resolution.

Constant criticism, contempt, or belittling. Critiques become harsh, judgmental, or demeaning. Belittlement in public or private erodes respect.

Lack of emotional or physical intimacy. Affection, tenderness, or sexual connection diminish or vanish entirely. The couple’s emotional life grows distant.

Excessive control or jealousy. Monitoring a partner’s communication, isolating them from friends or resources, or pervasive suspicion undermines trust.

Blame shifting and defensiveness. Instead of accepting responsibility, a partner frequently shifts fault or attacks the other when challenged.

Hiding finances or major decisions. Secretive behavior around money, decision-making, or plans conveys a lack of partnership.

Chronic emotional exhaustion, depression, or anxiety. A marriage in distress can take a toll on mental and physical health. Prolonged distress may contribute to anxiety, depression, and other stress-related illnesses.

External warnings go unheeded. When friends or family express concern about the relationship and the couple dismisses feedback, it may indicate denial or avoidance.

Role of MFT and the Value of Professional Training

Marriage and family therapists are trained to treat individuals in context, exploring how patterns of interaction, roles, beliefs, and histories affect the relationship as a whole. Their work involves helping couples learn more effective communication, develop conflict-resolution strategies, rebuild intimacy, and distinguish solvable from perpetual issues.

Pursuing a graduate degree in Marriage and Family Therapy prepares practitioners with core competencies such as:

Diagnostic and assessment skills to understand emotional, developmental, and behavioral dynamics within a relationship.
Interventions based on evidence-based models.
Training in ethics, cultural sensitivity, and relational power dynamics
Techniques for guiding couples through repairing attachment, fostering empathy, and renegotiating boundaries.
Supervised clinical experience to work with a wide variety of couples and family structures.

For someone in or seeking a career as an MFT, this education provides the foundational knowledge to intervene in high-conflict relationships or marriages showing signs of deep distress.

The MFT Degree From Touro University Worldwide

The online Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy degree from Touro University Worldwide is structured to develop clinicians who understand relationship dynamics at individual, family, and community levels. The program emphasizes a systems-oriented approach, training students in assessment, diagnosis, and evidence-based interventions.

Its clinical track is the only one accredited by COAMFTE and combines coursework with supervised practicum hours. Optional tracks, such as the LPCC path or a non-clinical version, offer flexibility in specialization and licensure goals.

Graduates of the MFT degree are well-positioned to enter careers as licensed therapists, couples or family counselors, clinical supervisors, or mental health professionals in community agencies. With steady job growth projected in the field, professionals with this credential can contribute to healthier relationships and stronger families.